ADHD in the Family: Why A Child’s Diagnosis Might Reveal a Parent’s Struggle

Back-to-School Stress Might Be Revealing More Than You Realize‍

Somehow summer is winding down already and it’s back-to-school season again. If you have kids in your household, then you’re probably racing around juggling supply lists, taking a few last trips to the pool or beach, and navigating endless emails from school, sports teams, and more. This season often brings a mix of excitement and stress for families, but especially so if you’re parenting a child with ADHD. It is even more challenging to juggle all of these responsibilities and demands if, as is often the case, if you have ADHD, diagnosed or undiagnosed.

Over the years, we have worked with so many parents who come in after their child’s ADHD diagnosis and say something like:

‍"Reading my kid’s evaluation report felt like someone had written a story about my own life."

‍This moment of recognition is more common than you might think.

‍ADHD Often Runs in Families: Perhaps Including Yours

‍ADHD is highly heritable, which means if your child has it, there’s a good chance one or both parents do, too. But many people, especially those who grew up during the 60s, 70s, and 80s, were raised in a time when ADHD wasn’t on people’s radar. Unless a kid (most often a boy) was particularly ‘hyperactive,’ then those who likely had ADHD were more often labeled forgetful, overwhelmed, disorganized, or ‘not living up to their potential.’ Of course, what that means is that most adults who struggled with these issues grew up feeling like they had character flaws instead of a brain-based condition.

‍Why So Many Women with ADHD Were Missed

‍For decades, ADHD research and diagnosis focused on boys with hyperactive or disruptive behavior, also known as ‘externalizing’ symptoms. Girls, and many sensitive or internalizing boys, often showed signs like daydreaming, perfectionism, emotional reactivity, or social difficulties. These were often misunderstood, overlooked, misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression or just outright ignored.As a result, an entire generation of adults, especially women, were missed. And missed diagnoses meant missed opportunities for a true understanding of why so many things were harder. Many internalized the belief that something was wrong with them, when in reality, something important had gone undiagnosed.

‍Undiagnosed Adult ADHD Impacts More Than Focus

‍Here’s the thing: undiagnosed ADHD doesn’t just make life harder—it affects nearly every area of your health.

Adults with ADHD are more likely to experience:

• Anxiety and depression
• Insomnia or inconsistent sleep
• Emotional dysregulation
• Disordered eating
• Weight management challenges
• Relationship struggles
  

Why? Because executive functioning (your brain’s ability to plan, prioritize, and regulate thoughts and behaviors) impacts everything from grocery shopping and paying bills to stress responses and health habits. Remembering important dates, finishing tasks, or staying present in conversations can also be challenging and can erode trust and connection over time.

ADHD Testing for Adults Can Bring Clarity and Relief

‍ADHD doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your brain works differently. And once you understand how it works, you can finally stop fighting yourself and start working with your brain, not against it.

That’s why we offer comprehensive, collaborative ADHD testing for adults. While we don't do full neuropsychological testing, we do offer brief evaluations designed not just to assess whether ADHD is part of your story but also to explore how it may be affecting your mental and physical health. And we will work with you, through coaching or therapy, to implement evidence-based strategies for managing things differently and improving your quality of life.

‍Is It Time to Ask These Questions About Yourself?‍

While your kids are getting back into the swing of school, maybe it’s time to check in with yourself:

• Do I constantly feel overwhelmed or disorganized?
• Do I often avoid or procrastinate even with tasks that seem manageable?
• Do I struggle to follow through, even on things I want to do?
• Have I been told I’m “too sensitive,” “too scattered,” or “too much”?
• Have I spent years blaming myself for things that feel harder than they should?
• Have I often thought “I never lived up to my potential”?

If the answer to any of these questions is yes, this might be your season to finally get answers. An accurate ADHD diagnosis can bring powerful clarity…not just for you, but for your whole family. Because when parents get the support they need, everyone benefits. If you want to learn more about our ADHD assessments, then reach out here. Or if you or your older teen is struggling with diagnosed ADHD and the impact on both mental or physical health, we can help!

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio